Six weeks ago, the guy I had been dating and I parted ways. It seems strange to me that it has only been six weeks, because it feels much longer. It was not what I wanted to happen, but now I know it is what I needed to happen for me to push forward.
My (former) boyfriend was always supportive of my riding and helped me with replacing the chain and sprockets on my bike. He was concerned for my safety and encouraged me to keep growing my skills. In fact, when I was trying to become comfortable riding on streets and highways, he drove behind me in his truck to give me a safety cushion. Knowing he was there gave me confidence and a sense of security. But it also made me sad because I wanted to share the experience and have him ride next to me. I wanted to share the joy in the freedom of being on two wheels and traveling together.
I often felt like I had to choose between being on the bike that I love and spending time with him. That pressure came solely from me, never from him. Also, while not sharing the riding experience was not the main reason for the end of our relationship, I know now it was a factor. I don’t think I realized what a passion I have for riding until this summer. After we split I started to panic a little. Can I do this completely on my own? Do I really have a choice? (That’s a big no, by the way!) Maybe it was a sort of challenge to myself, but I remember taking off on the bike for a long ride that very day to clear my head. Perhaps I also had to prove to myself that I was capable of riding all alone.
Over the past six weeks I have pushed myself to take on new challenges – riding on the interstate, riding in the mountains, on longer trips and in unfamiliar areas. Riding in the city, in the rain and so on. I’m working on posts about some of those new milestones, so stay tuned. 🙂 I am proud to say that I ride some portion of every weekend and my distances are becoming longer and longer. I sadly know that I would likely not be here now if the relationship hadn’t ended. It just wasn’t meant to be.
I’m still grieving and healing, so in no hurry to jump into the dating scene. But when I do, I’ll make sure one of the qualities I look for is a passion for riding that is compatible with mine!